snapping, but not like a turtle

There’s a very destructive cycle that wraps around my relationship with bigR. I have obvious and serious anger issues, and often (OK always) snap far too quickly when the little dude is not acting quite right. Trouble is, he snaps just as quickly, which causes me to snap even quicker, which causes him to — see how obvious?

He’s three, he’s temperamental, I understand that. I’m thirty, I’m cranky, I understand that, as well. But that should place me with the advantage, right? I know I’m anger prone and short-tempered, and I understand his stage in life. bigR just knows I’m daddy, and everything I do, he does.

It’s just too bad he’s such an attentive observer and an uncanny imitator.

headaches, medication, anger, etc.

Today’s been rough. Steadily worse. A battle to control my anger, as my fuse burns shorter and shorter. I’m almost too tense to write - it’s amazing how distracting such frustration can be.

So what’s got me upset? The usual. Noise, headaches, sinus trouble, bigR’s attitude, littleR’s perfectly-pitched cries, work. You’d think after all this time I’d have learned to deal with it all and just relax, but I can’t. The worst of it is, after wrangling a free day off work for my nonsectomy, I slept for eleven hours last night. That’s like, unheard of. Seems the longer I sleep the worse I wake up feeling. That’s not right.

I should be on my way to the airport to pick up my mother right now, but her flight is having numerous problems, which is unsurprising. She is flying out here on a free ticket she received for her last flight having problems. Looks to be no different this time around. So, if you’d like to purchase just one ticket to Hawaii, then receive a free ticket every time you want to come back, fly ATA. This seems to be their standard practice.

Let’s get back to this headache; this thing will just NOT go away. As you may know I was recently prescribed Tramadol
for my migraines. So far we are swinging 0 for 2 on its effectiveness. After giving up on the drugs for the day, I turned to my Anti-Drug: alcohol. Guinness #1 went down nice and smooth with dinner; #2 is even better as I write this.

Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow.

// This post can also be seen on theDaddyProject.org